fraternalloveorfriendshipiswide-rangedandflexible.generallyspeaking,everyoneisourfriend,justaschairmanmaosays“ourfriendsareallovertheworld”。buttranscendage,sex,nationality,stateandeconomicconditions.tothemthemostimportantiscommonbenefit,commoninterestandunderstanding.friendshipisformedduringthecourseofstudying,workingandfighting.thebattlecompanionswhohavesurvivedmanyhazardsusuallyenjoylong-lastingfriendship.
however,fraternalloveisnotstable.beingawayfortooalongtime,losingallcommonbenefits,friendswillbecomeestranged.oncetheirinteresthaschanged,theynolongerunderstandeachother,andeventhiswouldharmfriendship.atalltimesandinallcountries,manyclosefriendsandbattlecompanionswhoonceworkedtogetherandfoughttogetherbecameenemiesintheend.quietafewoftheemperorsinancientchinaevenkilledthosewhohadhelpedthemfoundtheirdynasties.thetaipingheavenlykingdomwouldnothavefailedifithadn'tbeenforthecontendingandmassacringamongthethosewhofirstroseinrebellionatthebeginningoftheuprising.whatelseweneedtopayattentiontoisthatsomefriends,afterbeingawayfromeachotherfortoolongatime,havelostsomuchoftheiroriginalcharactersthatwhenmeetingagain,youwillfeelthatyouarestillthesameasyouwere,whiletheyarenolongerthemselves.theymayhavethesamefeelingaboutyou,sosometimesit'sbetternottomeeteachotheragain.asthechineseproverbgoes“friendshipcannotlastforthreeyearsandflowerscannotstayinblossomforthreemonths”.it'snotsoeasytomaintainrealfriendshipwhichneedsmutualunderstanding,toleranceandsacrifice.anykindsofharshtreatmentwilldamagefriendship.
noloveamongrelativeshasbecomeanormalphenomenonwhichneedn'ttobefussedabout.what'sworseiswhenloveiscontaminatedbymoney.soonerorlaterwewillgethurt.thesoonerwegetoutofthisnetoflove,themorewecanpreservebeautifulmemories.
wearenotlivinginvacuum,andthesocietyisformedofvariouskindsofpeople.aslongaswewanttolive,study,orwork,wehavetocontact,communicateandcooperatewithothers.thosewhoenjoycommoninterests,mutualunderstanding,commonundertakingsandcommonbenefitsbecomefriends.
somefriendsarecalledfair-weatherfriends,becausetheyaretogetherjustforentertainingthemselvesbyeating,drinking,andgossiping.oncethere'snothingtoeatanddrink,theirfriendshipisfinished.somearespiritualfriendswhosharecommonambitions,pursuitsandeducation.“theyenjoytalkingandlaughingwiththegreattalentsandnevermakefriendswiththegood-for-nothings”.thebestexampleswouldbeyuboyaandzhongziqioftheancienttimeswhoarefamousnotonlyfortheirloftymusicbutmainlyfortheirloftycharactersandmutualunderstandingandappreciation.theycaredverylittleaboutmaterialwealth,sotheirfriendshipisknownas“gentlemen'sfriendshipaspureaswater”.thethirdtypeoffriendshipbelongtothosewhoshowtheirutterdevotiontoeachother.theyarereadynotonlytosharewealandwoebutalsotodieforeachother,likethethreebrothersliu,guanandzhanginthenovelromanceofthethreekingdoms..weallwishtohavethiskindoffriendship,butit'sofgreatdifficultyfortheordinarypeopletobeasdevotedastheywere.
amatorylovehasbeenamysteryforages.there'sneitheracriteriontojudgenoracommonruletofollow.nobodycantelltheexactreasonswhyloveemerges.itisnotalwaysbecauseofbeauty(theuglydoorkeeperquasimodointhehunchbackofnotredameislovedbythebeautifulgypsygirlesmeralda),norkindness(hitleralsohashismistress),norwisdom(eventheblockheadmaysometimesmarryabeautifulgirl),norstrength(somelovestartsfromsympathy).trueloveislikegettinganelectricshock,shakingoursoul.itisasweetdream,akindofintoxication,indulgence,andendlesspassion.
truelovedoesn'tneedalongtimetogrowup,tomakeclearthefamilytreeoftheother,neitherdoesitneedsthetimetolookaheadandbehindagainandagain.loveisnotmarriage,whichusuallystartsfromlove,butdoesn'talwaysdependonlovetomaintain.long-lastingmarriagecaneventuallyturnintoakindoffamilylove,akindofcompanionshipwhichpreservesthecompanionbutlosesthepassion.loveisoftenanwinkoftheeye,orasmilethathintsmutualunderstanding.inspiteofthegreatdistancebetweenthem,peoplemayfallinloveincidentally.hencethesaying“adistantmarriageistiedupwithamysteriousthread”.loveneedspassion,anditcanstandbumpsandstumbles,upsanddowns,complaintsandblames.whenitturnsintoapoolofwater,especiallydeadwater,withoutanybillowsorwaves,it'stimeforittodie.