On-campusMarriage
ThereisaheateddiscussionthesedayssinceChineseon-campusstudentsarelegallyallowedtogetmarriedbeforetheycompletetheircourses.Somepeopleapplaudthisnewdevelopmentwhileothershaveexpressedtheirconcernaboutthis.
Ontheonehand,collegestudentswillinevitablyhavelesstimeandenergyfortheiracademiclifebecausemarriedstudentshavemorerealisticproblemstodealwiththanthoseunmarriedones.Ontheotherhand,anumberofstudentsdohaveadesireforanidealmarriage.Theyareoldenoughtotaketheresponsibilityandiftheyhandleitwell,marriagecanbringthemhappinessandasenseofsecurity.
Inmyopinion,itisunnecessarytoforbidon-campusstudentstogetmarried;however,itshouldn'tbeadvocatedorencouraged,either.Thereasonisthat,foron-campusstudents,theirmaintaskistoacquireknowledge.Iftheygetmarried,thefamilychoresmightdistractthemfromstudying,thustheymaynotgraduatefavorablyormaynotbecapableoffutureworks.Ibelievealmostallon-campusstudentswoulddealwiththequestionreasonably.(180words)
Differentpeoplehavevariousviewpointstowardmarriagecausetheyhavedifferentrolesandstands.QianZhongshu,aneminentwriterwhoprefaceshisbookASurroundedCitywith‘Marriageisasurroundedcitywhichpeopleencircledwanttofleefromwhilethosewhostandoutthecityareeagertostepinto’.However,JaneAustenstartedherbookPrideandPrejudicewith‘Itisatruthuniversally
acknowledgedthatasinglemaninpossessionofagoodfortunemustbeinwantofawife’.
Inmypointofview,marriageisawarmharbourinwhichwecanseekshelter,itisalsoadestinationofourlifevoyageafterweleaveparents’homeorwearenolongerundertheprotectionofourparents.
Sowemustchoosemarriagecautiouslyandthentryourbesttomakeaperfectplacewherewecanlivehappilywithanotherperson.However,wecan’tmanageitonourownwithoutcooperatingwithhim.Inotherwords,choosingamarriagemeanschoosingapersontolivewith.Inconsequence,weshouldchoosethehusbandcautiously.
Asforme,first,myhusbandmustshowhisparentsfilialobedience.Parentsarethosewholoveusbest.HowdareweexpecthelovesusifapersoneventreatshisparentsillIbelievethereisloveexistingbetweenmanandwoman,whileIbelieveinthe
emotionwhichcanbedevelopedafterlivingtogetheralongtimeinmarriage.Amancanfallinlovewithhiswifemomentarily,butonlywhenheregardshiswifeasarealfamilymembercanhislovelastslonger.Seldomamancanendurethemarriagewithawomanwhenheisnotloveheranymoreorevenhateher.However,thereisenoughspaceformanoeuversifamantreathiswifeasanindispensablefamilymember.Second,ahusbandshouldhavestrongresponsibilities.Amanwithstrong
responsibilitiesisreliable.Ononehand,hewillworkhardtomakeushappy.Ontheotherhand,hemaydonotanythingthatwillhurthiswife.Maybe,mostofthemenarefondofthenewandtiredoftheold,butamanwhohasstrongresponsibilitieswillmakehismindratherhisemotioncontrolhisbehaviour.
Lastbutnotleast,ahusbandshouldhavesimilaroutlookonlifeandvaluewithhiswife.Becauseitisahorriblethingtoliveanentirelifewithapersonwhomwehavenothingtotalkwith.
NowlettalkabouttheprotagnistsintheNettle.Totellthetruth,Idon’tlikethewomaninit.Idon’tblameherforleavingapersonwhomshedoesn’twanttolivewith.Idoblameherforleavingherfamily.Shejustmovesoutandalmostkeepsnoconnectionwithherhusband.Theycangettogethertocopewiththeir
marriage.Thoughtheirmarriageistoofargone,theycanstillbegoodfriends.AndalsoIhatethatshehopeanaffairwithMike.MuchasshelovesMike,sheshouldn’tbreakawholefamilyatanotherpoorwoman’scost.ShecantakeMikeasaclosefriendorabrotherwhomcanexchangelifeandworkexperience.
Fortunately,theydon’tlosetheirmindanddosomethingthatwillhurtothers.Ofcourseitisapitythattheydon’tmeeteachotheranymore.
youareasking,isitpossibletobemarriedandtobefree?
ifyoutakemarriagenon-seriously,thenyoucanbefree.ifyoutakeitseriously,thenfreedomisimpossible.takemarriagejustasagame--itisagame.havealittlesenseofhumor,thatitisaroleyouareplayingonthestageoflife;butitisnotsomethingthatbelongstoexistenceorhasanyreality--itisafiction.butpeoplearesostupidthattheyevenstarttakingfictionforreality.ihaveseenpeoplereadingfictionwithtearsintheireyes,becauseinthefictionthingsaregoingsotragically.itisaverygooddeviceinthemoviesthattheyputthelightsoff,soeverybodycanenjoythemovie,laugh,cry,besad,behappy.
iftherewaslightitwouldbealittledifficult--whatwillothersthink?andtheyknowperfectlywellthatthescreenisempty--thereisnobody;itisjustaprojectedpicture.buttheyforgetitcompletely.andthesamehashappenedwithourlives.manythingswhicharesimplytobetakenhumorously,wetakesoseriously--andfromthatseriousnessbeginsourproblem.inthefirstplace,whyshouldyougetmarried?youlovesomeone,livewithsomeone--itispartofyourbasicrights.youcanlivewithsomeone,youcanlovesomeone.
marriageisnotsomethingthathappensinheaven,ithappenshere,throughthecraftypriests.butifyouwanttojointhegamewithsocietyanddontwanttostandaloneandaloof,youmakeitcleartoyourwifeortoyourhusbandthatthismarriageisjustagame:nevertakeitseriously.iwillremainasindependentasiwasbeforemarriage,andyouwillremainasindependentasyouwerebeforemarriage.neitheriamgoingtointerfereinyourlife,norareyougoingtointerfereinmylife;wewillliveastwofriendstogether,sharingourjoys,sharingourfreedom--butnotbecomingaburdenoneachother.andanymomentwefeelthatthespringhaspassed,thehoneymoonisover,wewillbesincereenoughnottogoonpretending,buttosaytoeachotherthatwelovedmuch--andwewillremaingratefultoeachotherforever,andthedaysoflovewillhauntusinourmemories,inourdreams,asgolden--butthespringisover.ourpathshavecometoapoint,wherealthoughitissad,wehavetopart,becausenow,livingtogetherisnotasignoflove.ifiloveyou,iwillleaveyouthemomentiseemylovehasbecomeamiserytoyou.ifyouloveme,youwillleavemethemomentyouseethatyourloveiscreatinganimprisonmentforme.